By popular demand....

I know, I know. I haven't posted for a LONG TIME. A REALLY LONG TIME. Well, due to popular demand of all the COG fans out there (all one of them), I thought I'd drop a line.

It's not that I haven't been thinking about you. I have, I swear! It's just....me. Not you, it's me. I haven't been inspired to write a thing. What's that you say? COG has no words of wisdom about the presidential election? No pearl of truth to share with the masses? Well, if John McCain had one, I would have had post fodder for at least the next six months. But I got my way, so I got nothing on that one.

What about the "Bail Out" of the Big Three, you say? I can sum it up in two sentences. Necessary, but give the money with strings attached. And it's not a bail out if you have to pay it back (I'm looking at you, AIG).

So I guess the point of this post is just to wish everyone out there a wonderful holiday season. May your celebrations be full of good food, good friends and family, and good cheer. Count all of your blessings, as we know that 2009 might hold more hardships for us all. Be thankful for the love in your life, and count how rich you are without taking stock of your bank accounts. The good stuff in life means so much more than that....happy holidays, guys.


-COG

Let me 'splain. No wait, let me sum up

So I can't keep my hole shut any longer on this $700 billion dollar bail-out. By popular demand (ok, just my mom), I'll let my two cents (a lot less expensive than the bail-out) out there on the internets for all to see.

The big question everyone is asking: Whose fault is it? Why are we in this mess in the first place? Is it the banks? Is it the government? Is it the mortgage companies? Is it me? Is it you? Is it my dog? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding YES.

Let's start at the top. The government. Or as I like to call it, "Don't ask don't tell as long as we're fat and happy". How is the government to blame? Well, as usual, they started this mess. About 10 years or so, the government started this big push to "promote" homeownership among the American people. To achieve this goal, they (Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) loosened their credit lending guidelines so that more of the population fit into said guides. Now granted, not all banks and lenders out there sell their loans to Fannie, Freddie or FHA. But most DO underwrite their loans by their guidelines so that those loans are easily transferable on the markets. How loose did these guides get? Let's take an example.

Say it is 1992 and you want to buy a home. You apply for a mortgage. The bank asks for one months'worth of paystubs from your job, W2s for the last 2 years, and 3 months bank statements to prove you have enough money in the bank to cover two mortgage payments (on top of the 5% you are putting down). They also require that your total housing payment can't be more than 28% of your gross income, and that your total debt doesn't exceed 36% of your gross income. Fast forward to one year ago, 2007. The bank asks for maybe one paystub (to prove you still have the job you say you do), no W2, maybe a bank statement (if you are actually having to prove any assets). You might be lending money on a program that doesn't require any of these things. Heck, the program might not even require an appraisal on the house to prove it's worth! So, step number 1 in a financial free-for-all: Loosen credit guidelines.

The next group to blame? The banks, mortgage companies and mortgage brokers. Because the government allows such loose credit guidelines, the home lending folks take advantage of them! Imagine that! And, in the name of customer service, they put their borrowers into loans that don't require any documentation of assets or income! Just because, you know, borrowers don't want to dig around for their last paycheck or God forbid, their last W2. It also doesn't hurt that, because the borrower is now putting ZERO MONEY DOWN OUT OF THEIR POCKETS, they can afford to pay more in closing costs and a higher rate. So the loan originator makes more money. Does the lender have a moral obligation to place the borrower into a loan that makes sense for that person, to "Do no harm" to their credit? Absolutely. Did they do that? Hell no. Step 2: Allow greed to overcome common sense.

Lastly, I'd like to place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the American people. The average American has been spending money like it gives them a rash, and taking every bullshit financing opportunity that is offered to them. You're going to increase my credit line by $20,000? Ok, I'll take it! And I'll use it to buy a new snowmobile! The bank allows me to have a mortgage loan payment that is over 50% of my gross income? Sure! It's not MY fault, the bank said it was ok! News flash, people: no one is going to take care of you financially (or any other way) but YOU. Except for a few small exceptions (the elderly, or mentally challenged folks), most of us understand that we are over-burdened with debt. That we really can't afford the things we have. That we should be saving our money for an emergency or for the future. We know this, yet we don't do it. Step 3: Bury your head in the sand.

In conclusion: Everyone, from the government down, is to blame for the current poop sandwich we all have to eat. Learn to save your pennies, spend wisely, and quit pointing fingers at the other guy. I hear ketchup helps to swallow the sandwich...


-K

The space between....

Is apparently not enough. Just found out I have a herniated disc between my L5 and S1 vertebrae. From what I understand so far, those two vertebrae (for me) have a smaller space than normal (and also smaller than the rest of my spine).

So, right now I have to put on my Patience Pants and let the physical therapy do its work. For those of you that personally know me, you realize what a challenge that is going to be. After asking the therapist how long this will take to heal, I believe the phrase "weeks or months" came out of his cake hole. If he wasn't such a nice young kid I would've kicked him with my good leg. Plus, I can't run right now so he probably could have gotten away. :(

I realize that I'm a bad patient. Or rather, emotionally I'm a bad patient. Mostly those that come in contact with me would say I'm handling this with a sense of humor and resignation. But that isn't how I feel inside. Right now I would say I'm a functional depressed person. That is, I fulfill my work and social obligations, but I'm not very happy right now. The thought of doing something that requires effort is just too much to bear, let alone do. So right now I'm a lazy SOB, and I reserve the right to be one until I recover from this bullshit.

The End.

-K

Done for the season

A small running update for all you COG readers:

Those of you familiar with this site know I've been dealing with back/hip pain for a few months now. Well, last week I had terrible back spasms that prompted Mr. COG to load me in the car and drive to the urgent care. After a shot in the hip, I went home and to my bed. I woke up a couple hours later, back feeling great but the sciatic nerve in my left leg HURT like hell.

The next morning, we were back at urgent care. Another shot in the other hip (which didn't really touch the pain) and a trip up to the physical therapy center. The therapist couldn't even complete his baseline assessments b/c I was in such pain. I missed three days at work, and now 7 days later I'm just starting to feel a bit comfortable.

Needless to say, my running the 10 mile race on August 23 is not happening. And really, the half marathon in October is also now in jeopardy. I have mixed feelings about this, as I've really struggled this year with my running. The therapist recommends mixing up my exercise so I can rebuild my core strength, so I think I'll ease off running a bit a mix in something else.

Knowing that this pain will pass has made it better. I don't know how people with everyday pain can function after a while. I'm totally impatient and hate lying around, but muscle relaxers help my attitude. Especially when they're washed down with a margarita.

-K

The things we base our decisions on...

I know we are all guilty of this. We sometimes base our decisions on irrational logic. Be it from a past bad experience, or just trusting our "sixth sense", we all have made choices not based on facts or reason but on some crazy line of thought.

For example, choosing a name for your baby. You might kick around a few ideas with your spouse. The conversation might go like this: "How about Britney?" "Ugh, that reminds me of Krazy Britney Spears, no way". "How about Shiela?" "uh, no. I knew a girl named Shiela once. She was a bitch". And so it goes until you narrow it down.

Or maybe you don't want to try this fabulous new drink that the restaurant is offering, because you once had a VERY bad night with tequila and she is NOT your friend and just the THOUGHT of having a small TASTE of that drink makes you throw up in your mouth a little. (This is not from personal experience - Ed.)

But those examples are understandable, if not entirely logical. When it comes to an important decision, like buying a house, or investing your money, I assume most of us use some kind of reason. Or logic. But I have a deep seeded fear that most of our voting population in the United States does not have that same logic when it comes to picking a president in the next election.

I was watching the nightly news not long ago. They were interviewing voters in the state of North Carolina. A state that is mostly pro-McCain. So the interviewer was asking random people who they would vote for. If they answered Obama, then the interviewer would ask the person what they didn't like about McCain. If they answered McCain, vice-versa.

The interviewer was talking with a man, I would say his age was roughly 40 years old. Looked like a blue collar worker of some kind, maybe a factory guy. He stated that he would vote for McCain. So the follow up question was why he didn't want to vote for Obama. The man went on to say that he had HEARD (not seen for himself) that at one rally some months ago, Obama didn't put his hand to his heart when they raised the flag and played the national anthem. In this man's mind, this proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Obama was not patriotic and didn't love the United States like he thought a president should. Now, could he tell the interviewer when this incident occured? Nope. Could he even tell him where he had heard this information? Nada. So based on pure conjecture and rumor, this man decided how he was going to vote in the next presidential election.

I'm not sure if this allows me to shoot people like this, or if I'm going to just have to shoot myself and get it over with.

-K

It doesn't happen to me

Here in COG world, we had a medical wake-up call last week. My sister, my best friend, the one that will cover my ass no matter what...had a series of small strokes. The doctors say she is fine. No permanent damage; no harm no foul.

But it really hit me hard (she says, selfishly). My sister is the one to prop me up when I'm down; the one to take me out for a drink to celebrate good times (and forget bad ones). She is generous to a fault, and is the truest friend anyone can have. A hard worker, supportive of friends, and a mama bear when it comes to her family. There would be a gaping hole in my family fabric if she were not here.

My sister is a bit older than me (no need to name numbers, for both our sakes). When I was young, she was a mother figure to me. She was the one that dressed me in the latest fashions before kindergarten, she was the one that braided my hair in those funky Heidi braids that were popular in the early '70s. She was the one that taught me how to apply my makeup, she was the one that taught me how to put in a tampon, and she was the one to tell me to "brush your damn hair, it looks like a mess".

As I grew older, our relationship shifted from the mentoring kind to the kind of friendship that only sisters can have. We can confide our fears with each other; we can confess our weaknesses; we can celebrate achievements together and we can prop each other up with encouragement. I can honestly say there is no other relationship like the one I have with my sister. I love her in so many ways, I don't have enough fingers and toes to count them. So as I sit here, typing with tears on my cheeks, I just thank God that she is safe. That she is here and will continue to be here for a long time to come...

-K

The Beat Down

Reports state that the Lakers arrived in Boston Friday night for Game 6. Too bad the game took place on Wednesday....


OHHHH! Did you see it?!? Did you see the beat down?!? Now THAT'S how you tell Kobe Bryant to f**k off! Even my nephews b-ball team could've provided more defense than those tired Laker boys, and most of those kids don't top 5'10". The Celtics were able to cut through the lane like a hot knife through butter, and those LA bitches didn't even put up a fight. YES!

Ahem. (Smoothes the hair). On another note, ran about 3 miles yesterday. Although it was a bit tough, I pushed through it until about 1/10 mile left. Had to stop the jog or would have pooped my pants. For those of you non-runners out there, this is (from what I understand, and if Mike lied I'll kick his ass) a common occurence. Basically, as I run, my insides act like when you shake a pillow case up and down to get the pillow to fit. The pillow eventually falls to the bottom of the case. Well, my insides feel mighty uncomfortable when I'm unable to poop prior to a run. Which was the scenario yesterday. Fortunately, I was done with the run by the time this hit so I made it home. Whew! It was a great day for a run, sunny and not too hot so all in all it was a nice experience.

Hitting the links tomorrow (yes, Monday) for a charity golf outing, so I'll be sun burned and hungover for work on Tuesday. Whee!


-K

Why do I run?

I'm sure I've lost any small amount of COG readers I had with the long delay between posts, but here goes:

I had an interesting conversation today, and really a post by fellow blogger Lisa made me think. Lisa had run in the Bayshore Marathon over the holiday weekend, and due to some miscommunications, had no friends or family at the finish line to cheer her across. It disappointed her, and rightfully so. It made me remember my first race experience.

I was entered into my first 5K last year (almost a year ago this week, actually). I was excited about running, anxious about finishing and really just geeked about the experience. It was a Race for the Cure event, which anyone familiar out there can tell you that the attendance is in the 35K+. My family and friends were walking the event, and I was the sole runner. And since it is a female bonding event for myself and my friends, Mr. COG was at home.

The morning was sticky and hot, but after some perserverence I was able to see the finish line. The running finish line is separate from the walkers (as the walkers would be too much of a crowd for someone that is running to get through). So at this event, there was a small crowd gathered at the end to cheer us runners on. But, for my first running event, not one of those faces was familiar.

As I crossed the finish line, I felt a bit of a letdown. I mean, if a tree falls in the forest but no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Well, after a moment of feeling disoriented, I asked myself "Why do you run?" (I was exhausted, so I may have said this out loud). Is it so that someone else can be impressed by my achievement? Is it to show others that I can accomplish something I thought was impossible? Well, yes...but no. It was at that moment that I realized that I run for me. No one else, just me. So all the events I've run since then, it heartens me to see someone I know at the finish line, but it isn't the reason I crossed it in the first place. Finishing a race nurturs ME.

On an unrelated note...Go Celtics! If my beloved Pistons had to lose, at least their defeators can go on to win it all. And, I can't stand Kobe Bryant.


-K

TCB

Just a quick post to wish you luck, give a shout out and update you all.

First, the good wishes...My thoughts are with you all that are running the Traverse City Marathon this weekend. I had originally hoped to run in the half, but the registration filled up quick and my back problems compounded that issue. Run swift, run sure and have lots of fun this weekend. I'm with you every step of the way. And Mike, I know in me bones that this is your BQ weekend. Go for it!

The shout out...to Larry B! It was great to see you this weekend and catch up, and I was really surprised to learn you are a COG reader. Very cool! You look great and sound happy, and that is all one can ask of this life. Hope to see you again soon. The wedding was a blast, eh? And sorry about the Cavs this afternoon. There's always next year once they trade Wallace for a real power forward. Maybe they should call Dwight Howard? I hear he's a little disapointed with his season...

And the update...I'm slowly getting back into the running. Emphasis on SLOWLY. Running every other day, trying to make sure I'm smart about it. My aerobic strength has dropped significantly in the 8 weeks I've been inactive, so I'm building up my distance in baby steps. Doing a couple of miles every other day until that is done with ease, then building up another mile, etc...until I'm back at running 6 - 8 miles on the weekend for my regular long run. I have a goal to run the Crim in August (yes, Mike P, I'm signing up for the 10 mile), and I've already signed up for the Detroit Half this October. How's that for optimistic?

Be careful out there, and Go Pistons!

-K

Vacation - YES!

I'm typing this message to you as a relaxed, rejuvenated blogger. Mr. COG and I just returned from our week vacation to the fine state of Tennessee. We spent time hiking the Smoky Mountains, driving the Mini on the Tail of the Dragon (Google it), and just hanging out.

I'm now on a trip for business, but will finally be home soon to get settled in. Mr. COG was left with the laundry basket and as a conselation prize, the remote control. I'm sure he'll be just fine without me for a few days...

Some of you may or may not know that I am a die-hard Pistons fan. As I was waiting for my (delayed) flight last night, I watched the first half of Game 4 with the Sixers. I thought for sure that Detroit had once again f**ked up, didn't show up, and was going to lose. Much to my surprise, I find out today that they actually won the game. For a team this good, why do they have to let the first round series go to 6 or 7 games? Two words: LA-ZY. Their sense of entitlement to a championship kills me every May/June. They won in 2004 b/c they had a ginormous chip on their collective shoulders, but haven't been able to replicate that fire since then. Mr. Billups (et al): No one is going to hand you dick shit. You need to work for it, and the talent pool has gone up considerately since last year. Don't be the team caught flat-footed and showing your age. This is going to be one of the last opportunities for you to capitilize on these 5 starters, so you damn well better put forth the effort. Your fans are tired of the laziness shown (I'm looking at you, Rasheed Wallace) and the lack of enthusiasm. Take a lesson from Antonio McDyess. The guy breaks his nose, flies to Detroit for surgery and is back in Philly for the next playoff game giving it his all. Antonio for MVP.

-COG

Running Update

Hi there, faithful COG reader! Just a quick post tonight to update you on the progress of my back. Looks like the bone doctor has straightened me out (literally), so I've taken the first tentative baby steps to get back to running. Did a light jog for about 2 miles last night, and it felt great! Different, but great. I can tell that I'm using a slightly different set of muscles in my legs now that my hips have been corrected, so it is a bit of a struggle right now until I get back into shape. But I'm back on track! Have a drink to celebrate, and I'll post soon!


-K

I.O.C. is D.U.M.B.

Today's post is a rare political rant. I sometimes just can't, no matter how hard I try, ignore such gross negligence and act of stupidity that is the 2008 Summer Olympics. Let's count the blunders so far:

What item on China's application for Host City could have possibly convinced the IOC that this was a good idea? Was it their blatent neglect of the environment? ("Hey, that yellow smog brings a certain Je ne said quoi, non?) Or the human rights atrocities they've commited both against their own people and their enslaved peoples of Tibet? ("They're all a bunch of whiney babies") Or perhaps the fact that they haven't generated their own original ideas in hundreds of years, choosing instead to rip off well known designs and produce cheap knock-offs that are sold on street carts and at Wal Mart? (No snarky comment needed).

It has been reported that several runners are not participating in the games for fear that the air quality will cause health problems and affect their performance. I'm sure they won't be the last group of athletes that decide not to go, but I'm sure more will be boycotting for political reasons. Although running several miles through asthma inducing smog does sound pleasant, doesn't it?

The Chinese government is trying to spit-shine everything and everyone within a 50 mile radius of the Olympic stadiums. Daily practice for citizens include: how to stand in a line in an orderly fashion; having "no spitting" hours; teaching "western-style" manners for airline travel. Isn't going to a foriegn place mainly for the purpose of learning about a new culture? For God's sake, it is what it is. Just leave the poor (literally) people be themselves and the world might be charmed.

Now the Olympic torch won't even be able to complete it's world tour because of protests. In Paris, the torch carriers were attacked and had to complete the route on a bus. In San Francisco, imaginative and intrepid protestors actually scaled the suspension cables on the Golden Gate Bridge to hang "Free Tibet" signs that could be viewed for miles. I say, way to go! Not so much on the Paris attacks, but the spirit of the protest in general.

Why celebrate a nation with that kind of human rights track record? And environmental impact? Are the 2014 Winter Games being held in North Korea? Or the Summer 2012 Games in Somalia? Way to go, IOC. You've outdone yourselves on this one...

-K

Broke Back Update

Well, dear COG readers, I have good news and I have bad news about the back:

The good news? The pounding I'm taking at the chiropractor's office (hey, that actually sounds fun!) is working. I found out a few things about my bones that were news to me. For one, my left leg is about 9mm shorter than the left. My hips are twisted slightly so that they aren't square. And my #5 vertebrae is fused to my tail bone (apparently it is supposed to be free-moving). Since I started treatment, I can actually stand straighter, so that is a GOOD thing eh?

The bad news? I can't run for about another 3 or 4 weeks. Doctor wants me to give it a rest while he moves me bones around a bit. The worst part is that when he finally gives me the running green light, I need to start off on the treadmill to reduce the shock to my hips. Ugh.

So I'm going to go on an eating strike until the running is back on the calendar so I don't put on all the weight I lost in the past year. Wish me luck, and eat a few extra carbs for me!

-K

Feeling broken

I'm sure you are feeling a bit out of sorts today from the pre-emptive time change (feels like a premature ejaculation, Father Time get thee a Viagra); the long extended winter (Mother Nature, get thee a Xanax); and the (still) wacky presidential race (insert pun about Uncle Sam here).

To add insult to this myriad of injuries, I'm feeling broken and broke down. My chronic lower back problem has struck again. Not as bad as the famous Back Ache of 2006 (lower back muscles pull hip out of socket, did I mention we were in Mexico at the time? Fun stuff!), but a nuisance and inconvenience nonetheless.

As long time readers of COG know, I'm a fledgling runner that just passed my first running anniversary. I couldn't celebrate by running, however, due to the back pain. So this time I'm trying something different and seeking chiropractic help. I've never seen a chiropractor for anything before, and I do approach it with some skepticism, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And I'm developing a sneaking suspicion that these back troubles are some kind of structural problem with me.

So dear reader, cross your fingers...I find out Friday if they can fix Quasimodo...

-K

How Do I Quote Thee? Let me count the ways...

I've always wanted to be one of those people that could quote Shakespeare, or James Joyce, or passages from The Bell Jar. One of those smarty pants that could come up with the most appropriate quote from a high-brow source that just fit the occasion and made me look smart. Unfortunately, there are only really two sources of material that I dip in to for those quotations that cover life. The first is a wealth of quotes that apply in so many situations: The Simpsons.

My favorite Simpsons quote? It would be a toss up between Homer's "Alcohol. The cause and the solution to all of life's little problems" and Bart's "This both sucks and blows." The latter really applies at work.

But the source of the most quotes I can milk from? Why, The Princess Bride, of course!

"Inconceivable"

"My name is Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"Anybody got a peanut?"

"He's MOSTly dead."

"Tis a pity to waste a perfect pair of breasts such as yours."

"Sleep well, my friend, and dream of large women."

"Never engage in a land war in Asia."

"Humperdink, Humperdink, Humperdink."

"ROUS. Rodents Of Unusual Size"

"To the Pain"

"Hi pretty lady!"

I really could go on (and on). So this is the highest quote level I can achieve. Fortunately, my friends appreciate such a level, and they come in handy at parties. Keep warm, and put your favorite all time quote in the comments y'all.


-K

Farewell, cruel world!

I just wanted to post for the last time, fair reader. Soon enough, my arms will fall off; my back will seize; and my ass muscles will never recover. No, no. I've not had the best night of my life with Mr. COG (as he is on a business trip this week). You see, dear reader of COG, Mr. Cold Meiser shit about a foot of heavy wet snow all over my yard. And I've spent about 3 hours today shoveling the 75 foot driveway. By hand. By myself. Because the snowblower wouldn't toss that crap for anything.

Did I mention that I'm sick of winter? And oh, by the way, we're getting 3 more inches tomorrow? Sorry, 3 inches doesn't impress me as a measurement with ANYTHING. Especially snow and male genitalia. I think I'm changing my mind on New Year's resolutions: I resolve to reside in a warm climate.


-K

Laziness - a benefit? or a negative?

Well, since the dial-up connection is moving at lightning speed tonight, I decided to do a quick post. Yes, Mr. COG and I still live in the dark ages of dial-up. The reasons are there for another post. Suffice it to say, it mostly involves a major grudge with the cable company.

I've been perusing my fellow bloggers'websites tonight. And I've come to a realization about myself: I'm lazy as hell. I read about you all raising children, going back to school, starting a new career, and still having time to blog and have a social life. I have my limitations, and I am not these people. I function quite well at my job; I (mostly) stick to a workout/training routine; I manage our finances and clean the house. But this is the extent of my responsibilites, and the extent of my motivation and capabilities.

Mr. COG and I have no children, so I don't have to come up with the energy to take care of a sick child or worry about their social development or smack them upside the head (proverbially, of course) when they mess up. We (Mr. COG and I) have a nice, healthy relationship that is zero source of stress. I don't spend time fretting over our financial situation, I don't lose sleep over how to manage my time.

My major point here? I really belive God gives you what you can handle. And he knows that I won't paint my nails (so they are in nice condition all on their own); I don't know how to "do" my hair (so it looks pretty good in a natural state). He knows that my stress level is just right for me. So why do I feel like such a slacker?


-K

Meme-ries

I've taken up a toss from Animal on the meme about privilege. As Animal, I too have never really thought much about the quality of my childhood. Not on purpose, just never had a scarring event or bad memories to ruminate. So I shall try my hand at it now. The items that are bolded apply to me, the non-bolded...not so much. I also need to give a shout out to "What Privileges Do You Have?", based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University in order to acknowledge their copyright on this meme...

1. Father went to college. Nope. My father worked for the first 30 years of his career at a factory job and the last 13 or so in a white collar environment on a project developed by General Motors for quality. Not going to college is something he regrets never having done.
2. Father finished college. See above.
3. Mother went to college. Again, nope. Mom had her hands full dealing with 4 kids and keeping the house together while my dad worked his ass off.
4. Mother finished college. See above.
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor. This one is true. My cousin was a city attorney for many years.
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers. This was a bit unclear, but I assume the intent was whether or not I was in the same financial class as my teachers and I would have to say yes.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home. And all of them were probably mine.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home. Probably not, although if my mom had allowed it I would have gotten my hands on that many. I was a voracious reader as a kid and teenager.
9. Were read children’s books by a parent. I don't really recall anyone ever reading to me as a child, but either way it didn't lessen my love for books.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18. I had a couple of clarinet lessons privately, but they didn't help. I still sucked.
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18. Nope.
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively. Since I have no strange tatoos, piercings or hair color not found in nature, I suppose this is true.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.I had worked at a credit union starting at age 16, and I was able to get a credit card just before going to college. I used the card to charge my books for the semester since I couldn't afford both tuition AND books.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs. Nope. My college education was 100% self-funded. This was a great source of worry (and probably a small ulcer) over where my next semester's money would come from. Basically, I held at least 2 jobs at any time during my college career. The biggest asset I had was a Resident Assistant job that payed room and board. I actually cried the day I got the job b/c I knew I wouldn't have to worry as much about staying in school.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs. Nope, see above.
16. Went to a private high school. Hell no.
17. Went to summer camp. Again, no.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18. Nope
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels. I think this did apply in a couple of instances. Most likely on those road trips to Florida that we took 2 days to accomplish. I also remember my mom freaking out about germs in hotel rooms, so this wasn't necessarily a treat.
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18. This one is a for sure no. I shared my bedroom with two older sisters until the age of 14. We had a communal closet with it's own motto: The first one up is the best one dressed.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them. My first car was a hand-me-down two tone 1977 Chevy Caprice Classic. Large enough for me and 14 of my closest friends.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child. This would be bolded if hook rug craft projects made by my grandfather count as "art".
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house. All 6 of us in a 1200 square foot, 3 bedroom colonial.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home. yep
25. You had your own room as a child. This was true, but only during the most important teenage years (15-18) after my sisters had moved out. My parents didn't bother moving the furniture around, so I kept the room to myself. Otherwise, no one had room to themselves.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18. This is also true, but by default. My bedroom was the only one on the upper level with a phone jack, so the phone had to be in my room.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course. COG don't need no prep! COG got a 30 on her ACT!
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school. Not only did I NOT have a tv in my room growing up, I've NEVER had a tv in any bedroom I've owned since then.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college. nope
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.I did take a trip to Florida that didn't include the grueling drive. Once.
31. Went on a cruise with your family. nope, never been on a cruise.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up. I don't think my parents avoided these places on purpose. I just think they relied on school field trips to enrich my art experience. I did drag my father to a Degas exhibit a few years ago. I think he agreed to go to be polite.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. I was certainly aware of the cost, but unlike Animal, didn't have to chop wood. My dad bought cords of wood that were dropped off on the driveway in the fall of every year.


Going back over these answers, I feel they give the impression that I had a poor childhood. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My parents encouraged me to be independent in both actions and thoughts, and allowed me to explore ideas on my own. I didn't have to "inherit" a love of books, or art. I was able to develop (or not) these appreciations on my own. Thankfully I did, and I still have a big appetite for learning things. And the reading...that's still an addiction as well.


-K

You say you want a resolution....

Happy New Year 2008 all! Mr. Gravity and I had a great time over the holidays, and over all Santa was good to us.

I know that every year many of you have a resolution. To resolve to improve in some way. Maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you want to get a better job, maybe you want to swear less (hell no!). I'm going to do what I do every year: resolve to not make a resolution.

Why, you ask? Is COG lazy? Is she perfect already? (yes, and YES). No, the truth is I don't want to disappoint myself come February or March. And get ready to gag a little, but I try to be a better person throughout the year and not just when it's time to buy a new calendar. So my continual struggles, no matter the season? Weight loss; fitness; eating better; being less of a bitch (unless the situation calls for me to bring the Bitch. Then it's fine.)

On a completely different topic, I'd been meaning to give a list of music that I really loved/hated in 2007. I was inspired by reading so many other top 10 lists (and disagreeing with them) that I thought I would give 'er a try. Remember, these are love AND hates, and in no particular order:

1) Back to Black, Amy Winehouse - the whole album. The sound was different than anything else out there (which I give immediate props to, even if I hate it). Her voice is phenomenal. And the production of each song is top notch. Well crafted and moving. It sucks that her personal life is a train wreck right now, and I hope she pulls it together before there is no more genius from her in the future.

2) Umbrella, Rhianna - This one falls under HATED IT. Or more precisely, I couldn't figure out why it was such a big hit. I had downloaded it from ITunes after hearing so much buzz on it and was disappointed with it. A much better and bigger tune for summer was Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" two years ago. Girl could tear it up...Rhianna? Not so much here.

3) The Reminder, Feist - I would recommend about 50% of this album, the track that everyone knows from that IPod commercial would be #1 for me ("1,2,3,4"). Her voice is thin, but the melodies are unique and lyrics are pretty impressive.

4) Missed the Boat, Modest Mouse - I did like some other tracks from this album too, but Missed the Boat is my favorite. The lyrics are GREAT. Witty, self-deprecating...two things you don't see very often from pop music anymore. Bonus points for naming the album "We were dead before the ship even sank".

5) Grace Kelly, Mika - I'll recommend the album this track is from for the whole family for the pure joy of it. Unironic, not some bullshit self-aware "too cool for school" pop. This is someone bringing music from a place of pure joy. The attitude is similar to They Might Be Giants, and the fun is contagious.

6) Nickelback - HATE them in general, but I hate them in the same way that I hate Matchbox twenty. They have songs that are stupidly catchy and all sound the same, but damn if they don't appeal to a huge audience. Those Canucks sure know how to make a buck. Their album has been on the damn charts since 2006 and it's still hanging on with the new single "Rockstar". And the worst part? I actually LIKE that f**king song. Grrr.

7) The Dutchess, Fergie - GUILTY PLEASURE ALERT! GUILTY PLEASURE ALERT! The songs are insipid, poppy, and lyrics are on a fourth grade reading level (she even spells some of the words FOR you). But Ms. Ferguson must be doing something right, because this album has been charting since 2006 (that's right, over 13 months ago). The only positive thing I can say about these songs is that I use two of them on my running playlist (Glamorous and Fergilicious).

8) The new Bruce Springsteen - Forgive me, Mike P, but I'm too damn lazy to go to Mr. Gravity's car to get the case and find the name. And, since it has been permanently glued in Mr. Gravity's car cd player since Santa dropped it in his stocking last week, you can get the idea that it is a return to classic BRRRUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEE! Mr. Gravity is a classic Bruce fan, not a fan of Dust Bowl Springsteen or 9/11 Springsteen. So he is a true litmus test for another record if, Mr. Springsteen, you are a great COG fan and are reading this blog. Give us a jingle.

9) Growing Pains, Mary J Blige - it's a good one. Almost as good as No More Drama, but not quite. Mr. Gravity is a huge MJB fan, so the cd player test really doesn't apply here. The overall message is positive, the beats are hot, and Mary really hasn't sounded better.

10) I've run out. No #10. See, it's kinda hard to impress me musically. You need to be on your lyric game, and deliver it to me on an innovative melody. Anyone have a 2007 recommendation? Hit me up in the comments...

Happy New Year, bitches!


-K