Open Letters

Dear Stayfree:

If you insist on using wings to keep you product in place, please make sure that the glue is not sticky enough to rip the hair off my upper inner thigh when it gets displaced from my drawers.


-(less) Hairy



Dear Vlasic:

I am now sporting the latest fashion in Band-aids after attempting to open a jar of your baby dills. The suction created by the lid was, I believe, strong enough to keep the space shuttle in orbit (screw gravity). I'm passing this information on to NASA in case you guys want to get together.

-Pickled



Dear NASA:

I've already let Vlasic know you'd be calling. Give them a ring and mention my name, maybe they'll give you a discount. At least on pickles.


-K